26 September 2003 | 10:09 a.m.,

totally random

Yesterday was a kind of up and down day.

I went to Ayr in the morning and got a text saver thing for my phone so for £20 I get £5 talk time and 5 "free" texts a day for a year. Considering Mezie got it and has been texting a lot and I've been responding it seemed worthwhile. I don't know if its working yet or not, it can take up to 24 hours to activate. I did a couple of other things and went to the 2nd hand CD store but they had nothing I wanted. Which is really a good thing. But I ran into Shug from work twice in about 10 minutes which was just too disturbing!

After lunch me and my decided to go a walk down at Culzean since it had turned out to be a nice day. The red deer in the deer park are getting ready for the rut [if thats whats it called] and were making one hell of a racket bellowing at each other. There are three stags but one of them, which for some reason has a white head, had got "proper" antlers for the first time. It was just lying at the top of the hill chewing grass and looking quite chilled and relaxed about the whole thing. I commented to my mum on that and said maybe it was just thinking "wow!! I got ANTLERS!! I'm a MAN now!" and she was like "yeah like a teenage boy thats just started shaving!". It did seem way more relaxed than the other two who were noisy and one of them kept hitting his antlers off the ground in a sort of "just you wait, pal! You won't know whats hit you" gesture.

So we had a nice walk but on the way home there had been a big head on collision on the road and the cars and police etc were still there. It was a mess and there was this old guy standing beside one of the cars so I assumed it was his. He just looked so shocked but noone was paying him the slightest bit of attention and there didn't even seem to be anyone around the other cars [a third car had been dented in the side slightly]. I just kept wondering if he had been on his own or if maybe his wife [or someone else] had been taken to hospital or even worse.. Its weird how shaken up I felt by it all despite not even having witnessed it actually happening. I just hope there were no casualties. Its only about a week or so since there was a really horrific crash a few miles further down the coast, near Girvan, that claimed 4 lives.

So that kind of spoiled my "just had a nice walk on a sunny day" vibe somewhat.

Then I managed to drop the book I was reading [Angels by Marian Keyes] into the bath before I had even gotten in it. Damn! And about 5 minutes later i knocked over the small tealight candle holder on top of my bookshelf. It didn't have a burning candle in it but I've just gotten so CLUMSY lately its not funny. I don't know what happened to me cos I'm sure I haven't always been this bad. I just seem to cause havoc whereever I go just now,bumping into things or knocking them over, spilling stuff... Urgh!

Had all sorts of bizarre dreams last night - in one I was supposed to be doing a nightime radio show for Mike whatshisface that used to do Saturday Superstore with Sarah Green, in this attic. I think Bruno Brookes might have been there too. It was all very odd!!

And I seemed to spend the entire previous night dreaming about P. Firstly that Nick from Coronation Street [which I don't even watch..] was looking for P cos he was his long lost brother so we were going round all the classrooms in this school looking for him until we eventually found him in this 6th form common room. I told him I'd been looking everywhere for him and he walked away to talk to this girl that he apparently just dumped as she was all upset. I woke up at that point but then had another dream where he was at my house and dressed in a black suit as if he was going to a funeral. I was going all weak at the knees cos he looked bloody good in a suit. hmm..

Anyway my car is in for its MOT and service today so I think I'll make the most not having it and try and get some letters and stuff done and maybe some tidying up.

I'll probably just sit and read my book or something though!