28 September 2003 | 6:02 p.m.,

yo-yoing

I really don't know what it is that triggers my moods sometimes. I think in some cases its a case of tiredness. I just haven't the energy to put on my happy face so I end up down in the dumps.

But anyway that seemed to be the case today. Nothing happened to PUT me in a crap mood, I was just in one from first thing. It was just one of those "my life totally sucks and i wish I was dead" type days.

It didn't help that old "teletubby" Jimmy nearly threw a table at me when he decided to take a big flaky which prompted all the joints boys to make a huge deal of how he nearly hit me with it and asking if I was okay etc. Which just really got on my nerves for some reason! I did get a bit of a fright actually but it wasn't really that close.

I didn't even want to talk to P, I was in such a crap mood. But after lunch I changed my mind and went in the chill. I started looking at the pallette he had just finished which Davy G was pulling away and when I asked which depot it was for he started going on about me coming in the chill pulling crabbit faces and if I was going to do that I could just figure out for myself what depot it was for. He was really just messing around but I was just yon way I didn't want to have to stand there and have him rip the piss out me so I just walked out the chill. So I never got to speak to P and I was in an even worse mood as that actually MADE me crabbit.

Then Joanne hit me on the head with a bag full of packets which actually hurt rather more than I thought it would. So I was depressed, crabbit and now had a sore head.

After last break I decided to go in and see P again. He told me that after the last time when I had walked out he had hit Davy on the head. When Davy looked at him like "what was that in aid of?" he apparently told him it was because he hadn't spoken to me all day and Davy had just gone and chased me out the chill.

It transpired that P was feeling crap too cos he had a bit of a domestic last night so we decided to run away together to some deserted island where noone would bother us. We eventually decided to go to Lady Isle, this wee teeny island that looks like a submarine, as we thought it would be quite cheap to buy [P-Pal apparently has £10 million in the bank so can lend us the money to buy it!] and noone goes there.

I'd sent Mezie a text telling her how crap a day I was having then later another saying that it was ok now and telling her about our "plans". Her response started with "is that the plot for your book? You editor awaits!" although she also said that if P-pal has all that money then maybe he would be a better catch. Fair point actually. But he's not as cute even if he is very funny. He was saying he thinks he can make his voice high pitched enough to get work as a woman on a phone sex line. Calling himself Cassandra.

So the point of all that is that I now feel much better. 10 minutes talking to P and having a laugh with P-Pal and I was fine.

I'm like a sodding yo-yo!